A ‘joy’ of celebrants…
With some of the summer 2022 namings training cohort at this year’s Celebrant Conference…
Last weekend saw humanist celebrants from all across the country gathering in Birmingham for our first in-person conference in three years. Like many, I came away from the weekend feeling re-energised, inspired by conversations with brilliant colleagues - and filled with joy.
During one of the breaks between sessions, some of us were chatting away (we celebrants are very good at that!) and the conversation turned to the question of what the proper noun for a group of celebrants should be. We tossed around various ideas, and then someone suggested ‘a joy’. I don’t think you could get a more perfect word for us as celebrants.
As celebrants we so often work alone - we meet up with our families and couples of course, but writing a ceremony is usually a solo gig. Humanist Ceremonies provides plenty of opportunities for us to stay in touch with the celebrant network - we have regional groups and coordinators, the celebrant forum. The forum is always my go to when I’m stuck with a ceremony because, when you’re stumped on something you can guarantee someone somewhere among the 500 trained celebrants in the network will be able to give advice from their own experience, or offer a different perspective.
But there’s still not really any substitute for meeting up in person. Last weekend showed us that. Several times over the weekend I was greeted with ‘Alex! I follow you on Twitter’, and it really was a joy to be able to put faces to those familiar names, and to carry on those online conversations.
In a way, it felt like coming home. Recognising that you were among your ‘tribe’. Just spending time with like minded people, batting ideas back and forth, debating issues that regularly crop up in our lives as working celebrants - how and why we include symbolic actions in ceremonies, how to include children and young people in funeral planning, campaigning on assisted dying - was just the tonic I needed.
Workshop sessions were filled with lively conversations and colourful people (still one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me was ‘I knew you were a humanist because you’re so colourful’).
Recently on the forum, a colleague started a thread on how often we refresh the ‘bread in our sandwich’, meaning the words that we put around the life stories and tributes that we craft as funeral celebrants. Do we use the same or similar words or do we start afresh each time?
The debate that followed has been absolutely fascinating and has showed me yet again just how much variety there is in the way we approach the same task (and after we’ve all had the same training). Some really prioritise including poetry and readings, some - like me - will only do that if the family specifically ask for it. Both approaches (and everything in between) work. Both approaches get it right for different family in different circumstances.
But that’s part of the ‘joy’ of being a celebrant. It’s about celebrating difference. Uniqueness. Colour. Life. Whether that’s in a funeral, wedding or naming. And, when you get a group of celebrants together, as we did last weekend - that’s a very inspiring and joyful thing indeed.
With special thanks to all my celebrant colleagues, to Ginny and Deborah at Humanist Ceremonies and all the Humanists UK staff team!
With fellow Cambs area celebrants